Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Lost and Lonely

This post here is to all writers who feel like they are on the sidelines watching. First off...


So you've discovered that you can't stay away from it. It brings you joy. Peace. Sanity. Then you realize that it's more than that. You've written an entire novel and there are still stories coloring your horizons.

The next thing you do is, what? Share! The burning desire to share your love for writing bursts from the cracks and shines as you speak. So this world has four moons, two suns and green people who fly through the air and--what? An astronaut falls from the heavens and creates a crater so huge that it's hard to miss.

Okay. So the people you tell smile politely and turn away and start an entirely different conversation with some one else.

Does that sound familiar? Maybe in some way?

It happens to me.

What I did next was find others who have the same mad drive of writing. Oh yes, we are out there. If only you can distinguish us writers with the naked eye. We look like everyone else. Our homes may have the telltale clue that we are writers.

Sometimes other writes will nod politely and pat your hand and say, "sounds like a cool story."And you don't hear back from them. I've had that happen, too.

There was a time where I felt so unlike every other writer. I wanted badly to connect with others. How do I know what rules to follow? How to gain a wonderful online presence? How to sound/be confident with my work?

So I've read a thousand how-to books. But I want to talk about them, philosophize. Something. But with whom?

I tried to find other writers interested in forging a group with me, but they were dismissive. I felt hopeless. I was alone for such a loooooooong time.

When I first started out into the 'real writing world' from the privacy of my home, I was intimidated. I wanted to mix and mingle with everyone. That was hard at first because everyone seemed skeptical or passive. Tight-lipped if they were writers.

I wanted a mentor with all of my heart. I wouldn't be alone. I'd have a cheerleader. A motivation. Hope.

Slowly, then so slowly miracles started happening. The library suddenly started a writing group. I was thrilled beyond words. Finally! I get to meet with others who are as passionate as I am with the writing craft. I learned of writers conferences (wow, yes, they are out there!), critique groups, contests... As I got myself out there, I discovered whole new worlds made just for writers!

I also learned that there are degrees of passion within everyone. There are some who are ho-hum while I border obsessive. ;)

I don't feel as lonely as I had only a few years ago. I've found my place and have started the journey to publication. I've found so many people, places and things that have buffered away the awful spikes of drought.

I've collected a lot of information from my travels and I am more than happy to share them with everyone and anyone who wants to learn. I don't know everything, but I know enough.

A friend of mine just e-mailed me. He has so many concerns and questions and doubts. It touches me that he has gathered the courage to seek my help.

I want all of you, my writing friends, to know that it is absolutely no coincidence that you love writing. Not at all. I have every whit of confidence in you guys that you will get your wonderful stories published if you keep on the pathway to it. If you ever feel lost, lonely, afraid, please consider me.

I love to mentor, help, and nurture through anything.


photos found under bing images search engine


  1. awe- what a great post! I think we've all been there at some point. I think for me it was especially hard to find support from those closest to me and it was a big (but necessary) step to search elsewhere. Now that I've found the online community, I feel whole again:)

  2. Awwwww big hugs to you too!! <<<<<<>>>>>>

    You are just so sweet!!!! Thank you!!! It's such a joy and honour to be cheering you on your writing journey!! Writing is such a lonely personal thing to do so it's great when there are others out there you connect to for help, support and guidance!

    Take care

  3. Wow, your post gave me the warm fuzzies. I totally feel you. :)

  4. Beautiful post. Your story sounds similar to mine, though I haven't been able to attend writers conferences yet. I have learned a ton though, just by reading blogs and joining some critique groups. I will definitely be at Storymakers next year though! :)
    Thanks for the post. It's good to know we aren't alone. :)

  5. Elizabeth, this was fabulous! It is such a strange thing in the real world to mention writing. Some people are enthusiastic and others ignore... to be expected, but meeting other writers... i've decided you need shared TIMING to really get each other... My daughter mentioned a friend's mom who wrote, so I said 'I heard this..." and she was... wierd... and writing memoirish stuff... I said a little about mine but that was THAT... nothing... fortunately, she is a sales type and when she was actually READY, she made contact again. She'd just been at a hesitant place about going public. I meet non-fiction writers and they are an entirely different animal... (they act like fiction deserves no respect, honestly--or maybe they just aren't sure what to make of me) So even AMONG other writers it can be lonely. Thank goodness for this blogosphere that lets us sort of feel out the like-minds, and gives us a way to be supportive, even of people in a different place.

  6. I certainly found a lot more support online than I ever imagined!

  7. I totally loved your post today, it really spoke to me, I have been writing for about a year now, and there are so many people who look at you will glossed over eyes and fake smiles of interest. It beats you down and makes you wonder if your stories are of any worth. But I also know that when you find others who feel the same about writing a fire flares inside and burns steadily as excitement leaps inside you and you continue to put the words together to create a wonderful work of art. THank you so much for sharing this with me, I felt like I had come home, to waiting open arms with the amazing feeling of family.

  8. The online community constantly amazes me - as do you and your kindness! Thanks :)

  9. Thank you for your post! I needed it today :)

  10. Hi, Katie! I'm so glad that you found your place with us writers. The internet is a wealth of stuff--we are so lucky to have it! :)

    Hi, Jennifer! Thank you so much for dropping by. I love being a writer. Writers are such awesome people! <3

    Hi, Angela! You're so cute! I'm glad. *hugs*

    Hi, Chantele! How wonderful you found yourself through blogs. I'm so glad you're going to Storymakers--you'll LOVE it! I can't wait to meet you!! :D

    Hi, Hart! Yes, you are right. It's strange how non-fiction writers would feel that way about fiction writers. I think for them it's a double-edged sword. They depend on fact, research and other things like that and think of the rest of us as fanciful people (probably with no backbone). BUT! They secretly envy us because we can weave fantastical books mixed in with REAL research along with things that SELL. I would like to think of it as: Realist V. Idealist. Just thinking out loud here... Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :D

    Hi, Alex! I'm so glad you did, because that's how I found you. Welcome! ;)

    Awww, Debbie! You are so sweet. My eyes are stinging. *HUGS* It's true, what you have is a gift that has tremendous possibilities and what counts the most is HOW it makes you feel. As my friends on this comment section have said, writing is lonely. It makes it much enjoyable when we find like-minded friends! :D

    Hi, Jemi! Thank you! I'm happy that we are writers. :)

    Hi, Taffy! You're very welcome! I'm happy that you enjoyed it. <3

  11. Nice post, Elizabeth. Hugs to you too!

  12. The biggest problem is that it's often frustrating. I feel like I sit there and work and work and work and in the end, I haven't gotten done what I want.

    Twitter doesn't help. :P)

  13. Hi, Angie! It's nice to see you! I love your writing! :)

    Hi Tamara! I know what you mean. A writer's job is never done, right? *hugs*

  14. What an inspiring post. You described some of my feelings perfectly. It's such a long journey as a writer--to find your voice, to find your true story, to find publication! It's wonderful to be a part of a writing community. I don't think I'd be where I am now without my awesome writing friends. Thanks, Liz! :)

  15. I admire your honesty, Elizabeth. You spoke to us all! Thanks!

  16. We can all relate to what you've shared! Thanks for the post.

  17. Wonderfully inspiring post! Thanks so much.

  18. Very nice post! Trying to figure out this writing world out can be pretty intimidating, great ideas on how to find where you fit in :)

    I'm still working on it :P

  19. Rachelle! Thank you! It is a long and lonely journey, isn't it? It's especially more fulfilling with someone who's been there and can lead you along. I love the writing community. They are AWESOME people! <3

    Kbrebes, thank you! I'm happy that you enjoyed my post. :)

    Valerie--writers are fighters and true warriors! :D

    Hi, Chary! Thank you! and you're welcome. :)

    Erica! Thank you. Yes, it is intimidating. It's SO big... I'm here if you need me! XD

  20. Elizabeth, you are such a warm, caring, sincere person, and it shows in everything you do. Thanks for your words of encouragement! <3

  21. Hey Elizabeth! This is a great post and something I really needed to hear. I mentioned you in my blog post today, about how you were so wonderful to hunt me down when I went missing. It meant so much to me that someone out there noticed I was gone and took the time to look me up. I would wish you luck, but I don't think you need it. You're just awesome by yourself!


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