A Mother's Heart
We give everything of ourselves. Time. Love. Labor. Life. Of course there's more.
Children are little people learning. They first see the world through our eyes. They hear things the way we perceive them. They grasp things the way we show them.
When they take their firsts, our hearts flow with joy. Or pain, depending on what the first is.
Their first lie. Their first steal. Their first punch.
It makes the deepest, biggest wound in my heart. I feel so sad, but my world continues on. At a small, awkward tilt that no one can see. The most I can do is pray that my girl sees what she's doing and right the wrongs with my heart-to-heart talks along with helping hands. That my boy understands his choices have repercussions. The way they live now will have an everlasting effect if they don't change their thought patterns.
I feel it is very important, though, that I start with me. That I be their example. I can't go around telling them not to hit their friends if I hit them (and I mean more than a simple spank). How about lying? What value am I teaching in honesty if they know I am lying to a friend and then turn around and tell them not to lie to their teachers?
Do as I say not as I do?
That's so old school and I don't believe in that at all. It's also hypocritical. What kind of morals would I have if I did one thing and told someone to do the other? How could that make me believable to them? A leader to follow?
Some might argue and say that's the privilege of being a parent. True. But what of the day when they gain their own realization that that parent is a walking contradiction? There's no solid truth to turn to. So they'll build their own. And that parent has just lost their child's trust.
I do my very best to be an example for my kids in my own home. I do everything that my Father in Heaven wants me to do. With that as my rod, I know that I can't go wrong. But it doesn't mean my kids won't go wrong. I just need to be strong for them and be there for them when they fall.
How do you do it when your kids stray? Break your heart?