Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thoughtful Thursdays

I am Drowning!

Lately, a priority shift has thrown me.

I have a good friend who is a wonderful mom. She has more than six kids and is a wonderful writer. She can edit during the day and free write when they all in bed at night.

I really admire and look up to her. I tried her way. I crashed and burned. I am not her. I can't be her. I am me.

There are things I've noticed slipping as I did those things (editing during the day rather than night...) I know I can still stop what I am doing and attend to the needs of my kids as they need me, but I really expect more from . . . me.

Yes, I am there for them. I talk to them about any pressures. I make sure I lead by example. Not do as I say and not as I do type thing. I teach them spiritual things. Temporal things. All things. We have scripture study every morning, family home evening, prayer . . .

But I have fallen short. I am not there for their interests.

My son is recent WeBeLos. But I haven't cracked open the book to read and help him with his goals like I used to. My daughter is very needy. She loves to read with me. She loves it when I make up stories about her and Prince Spicy. My other daughter needs me with her Personal Progress. And maybe just to hang out with her and read while she reads. My little boy needs me to be insistent when it comes to learning speech words for preschool.

It's the little things, you know? Those are the most important things. And I've been failing them. All because I've decided to emulate that good friend. I am not her. I am me. I need to press the reset button and start all over again.

I need to give myself permission to know that it's okay to be me.

Life is too sacred. Too precious. Too fleeting to let Goliaths take
control of ourselves. I need to remember that all the time so that I won't forget.

How do you do it? How do you meet your family's needs without leaving out the little things?


  1. This is something that runs through my mind constantly. I feel so driven to fulfill this dream to publish, this longing to write. And yet I have a family that needs me. All. The. Time. So I write usually at night. I try to blog and work while they are at school or in those rare moments when I am not needed (at the moment, my oldest is doing her chores and my youngest is napping, hubby is at work). But I know that my own chores aren't getting done. Still, I wanted to check out blogs, which I haven't been able to do much lately. It' so difficult to maintain a balance. I often seem to tip one way or the other. But the key is to give yoursef permission to tip every now again, so long as you are doing your best. Beg your family to compromise. Mine has been very good about this--which is why my oldest has picked up a heavier chore load, and my youngest is learning to put her own toys away. My husband now makes most of our dinners. They know how important this is to me, and because they love me--and because I show them how important they are to me--they give back. It's about working together I think, doing all you can to maintain a semblance of balance.

    Good luck with your journey, luv. I think you're doing a fabulous job.

  2. Carol...thank you so much for dropping by and sharing your heart with me. You're truly a wonderful friend.

    I hope to meet you one of these days!


  3. Well, I think we never really know what's going on in someone else's life. There are always sacrifices ~ your friend might be willing to make certain sacrifices that you aren't willing to make. You just can never know. And no one is ever perfect--despite how they might appear.

    I think there is no perfect solution. And even what works for you right now might not work for you two months from now. Life is a constant ebb and flow and I think we're lucky if we manage to keep our head above water--that THAT is success.

    I'm sorry that you feel like you're drowning right now. It probably means you need to switch things up. But I don't think you can do that by trying to be like someone else (especially if you "fail" and that only serves to depress you.)

    And anyway. Heavenly Father loves you. I know He'll help you find your way through your current forest of sorrow.


  4. Hello Ali!
    Thank you so much for dropping by and leaving your thoughts with me.

    You know, it's funny that I'm just discovering that what works for one doesn't work for another.

    I thought it would work for me. You are right, it's time to try something that does. Thank you for coming by and for your friendship. I can't wait to see you Tuesday! (You're going, right???)


  5. Hi Elizabeth,

    You're absolutely right. What works for your friend will almost definitely not work for you. But that's okay because you aren't her. You're you. Who else would you want to be?

    I wish I could tell you the secret to finding the right balance between your self time and your family time, but truth be told, I'm struggling with the same thing right now.

    Let me know when you figure it out, though! Good luck.

  6. We all need to find our own way; but it's cool that you tried something else. Its harder to appreciate what is working when you're not sure what isn't. Maybe now that you've learned what your priorities are, the things you can work around will reveal themselves.

    Beautiful artwork Beth. Thanks for the reminders to be ourselves.


  7. Hi Nichole! How lovely it is to see you here, thank you so much for your thoughts. I'll let you know when I figure it out... *sigh... ((hugs))

    Hi Donna! That's exactly what I was doing. I wanted to try out for myself if my friend's stuff would work for me too, cuz you never know, you know? But now I know... ;)
    Thank you for your compliment and for dropping by! :)


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